By
George Brozowski
AAARRRGGGHHH,
I knew it would have to happen sooner or later, my luck couldn't
last forever. Over the past 6 months of so I have received
some absolutely wonderful hooch to taste and review. The Gins
have been great and the Tequilas terrific, the Bourbons beautiful,
the Rums robust and the Vodkas very, very good. And then along
came Pucker Sour Apple Sass.
Now,
don't get me wrong, even though I am a purist by nature, I
like infused vodkas and the last good one I tasted was Bakon
Vodka and it was absolutely yummy. However this stuff is not
infused it's confused. I also happen to really, really like
sour apple vodka martinis. The best I ever had was in San
Francisco in a wonderful little bar I used to frequent quite
frequently called Martunis. Martunis specializes in martinis
and they do in fact know just how to mix up a great one. I
was reluctant to taste their take on a sour apple martini
as anything with the word "sour" was a bit off-putting,
but I finally gave in to my curiosity and boy was I glad I
did as it instantly became my all time favorite martini.
So
when I peered upon the clear bottle with the huge over-sized
green cap and the purple and green artwork and read sour apple
flavored vodka my mouth watered and my mind immediately went
back to that city by the bay and that cozy little bar and
one of my favorite drinks. When I twirled off the cap and
stuck my nose in and inhaled deeply reality brought me down
from cloud 9 pretty quickly. What in the world was that smell?
There was definitely something vaguely resembling green apple
but it was muddled and thick and reminiscent of a bad batch
of simple syrup. There was also some kind of attempt at the
aroma of acidity or tartness but it just came off like scented
finger nail polish remover.
When
I took a swallow I realized that it pretty much tasted like
it smelled. It was syrupy sweet and a tad tart and yet strong
tasting, again with a nod in the direction of green apples,
but there were no clear clean notes of any sort much less
any crispness and the acidity seemed more chemical rather
than natural. I will admit that the underlying vodka to this
jumble is quite smooth and might have been a really good stand-alone
product. I poured some over ice, a lot of ice, thinking it
might open up if it got really cold and was diluted a bit
but unbelievably it continued to be just as strong and just
as unappealing. I made a martini with it and even after a
great deal of shaking, not stirring, it didn't change its
attitude. I tried it with quite a few other ingredients but
nothing improved it and it seemed to dominate any mixed drink
I made.
Although
this stuff is definitely not to my liking I do believe that
they just might have a winner on their hands anyway. I firmly
believe that they can come to dominate the 21 to 29 year old
demographic. Move over Jagermeister, there's a new
kid in the neighborhood! This vodka is sweet enough, and just
like Jagermeister, weird enough to appeal to young
adults transitioning from sugary soda pops to hard liquor.
All they have to do is change the name of their product ever
so slightly and I guarantee that every young adult in every
bar across America will be screaming out their name. Since
this vodka is truly the mother of all sweetly strange drinks
the transition from Pucker to Mother
Pucker would be a very natural one indeed.
Just
imagine if you will, newly minted men in bars everywhere taking
up the challenge; "Bet you can't drink 6 shots of this
Mother Pucker without puking". Young women yelling
across the bar; "Hey bartender, another round of Mother
Puckers". This is a product name that young adults
will not only embrace but enjoy as much as the product and
even supplant Jagermeister as their party drink of choice.
It's a huge market and this Mother Pucker is positioned
to dominate it. Party till you puke!
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