By
George Brozowski
I
really
so mI really must admit that the presentation
packaging that these two products arrived in was over the
top. It measured 12"X15"X3.5" and was a luxurious
flat black with bright red letters embossed in the middle
of the box that read; "A lady always appreciates what's
on the inside." Using the attached little red ribbon
I flipped open the top and was greeted by a full color poster
on the inside with the headline; "A lady loves having
options." At the bottom of the poster was the closing
copy that read; "Drink like a lady."
Having curbed my male sexist chauvinistic pig tendencies decades
ago I didn't pick up on the clues. Even the brand name of
this hooch, Skinny Girl, should have made
me aware of what was going on here. As a matter of fact it
didn't hit me until I finally tried the margarita and peach
margarita with a female friend that it truly dawned on me.
These products are formulated and targeted to the female demographic.
The proof is in the pudding. These folks have managed to bring
the calorie count down to 100 calories per 4 ounce serving.
A real, old fashioned, made from scratch Margarita will easily
weigh in at double those calories. This is quite helpful in
keeping those girls skinny. The second factor is the alcohol
count. These Margaritas are 12.7% alcohol by volume which
works out to about 25 proof which is pretty much the alcohol
content of wine. On the other hand your average Tequila is
40% alcohol by volume which makes it 80 proof. This allows
those skinny girls to drink a few more Margaritas without
getting fat or falling down drunk.
Now,
when I drink Margaritas I don't mind getting fat or drunk
because I like the burn and taste of the Tequila and I must
admit I like the effects as well if not more. I know, I know,
that sounds either pretty sexist or like the rantings of a
fat old drunk but the facts is the facts. However, you are
what you drink and the chart below explains it better than
I can.
FEMALE
DRINKS & WHO THEY ARE
She drinks: Beer
Her personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
His approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
She
drinks: Blender Drinks
Her personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
His approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana
boy.
She
drinks: Mixed Drinks
Her personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has
very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
His approach: No approach necessary. If she's interested,
she'll send YOU a drink......
She
drinks: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Her personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet
giggles.
His approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet
evenings with friends.
She
drinks: White Zinfandel
Her personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated,
actually, she has NO clue.
His approach: Make her feel smarter than she is......this
should be an easy target.
She
drinks: Shots
Her personality: Likes to hang with pals and looking to get
totally drunk...and naked.
His approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed.
There's
nothing to do but wait. But be careful not to make her mad!
She
drinks: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens
there.
MALE
DRINKS & WHO THEY ARE
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple
and clear cut:
Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.
Imported
Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Wine:
Hopes the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help
him get laid.
Whiskey:
He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.
Tequila:
He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
White
Zinfandel: He's gay.
Okay,
so now that I have uniformly insulted everyone on the planet
let's get to the taste test before I get into more trouble.
The Skinny Girl margarita has a heady nose
of Tequila, lime and sweet and sour with the aromas all fairly
distinct and not muddled together, so far so good. On the
palate it does a presto changeo and tastes nothing like it
smells. The Tequila takes a back seat to a strong citrus and
lime taste combined with a bit of grapefruit. The Tequila
is faintly there but is overpowered by the other flavors.
The sweetness provided by the agave nectar is faint but discernible.
It is well balanced between sweet and sour. Personally I would
like the Tequila to be more pronounced and up front. The finish
is smooth and short leaving a tingle of tartness. On the rocks,
the dilution dulls all the flavors and the finish leaves me
wanting something a bit stronger and a bit more distinctly
flavorful.
The
Skinny Girl White Peach Margarita indeed
has a very peachy nose that's a bit sharp but is definitely
peachy. I can detect no Tequila in the nose. In the glass
the sharpness disappears and the peach aroma becomes warm
and fruity just like a real peach, nicely done. On the palate
I get a watered down flavor of peach, a bit of citrus and
lime and a faint trace of Tequila. The finish is smooth and
tart and pleasant. Somehow this Margarita leaves me wanting
more, more pronounced and distinct flavors and definitely
a stronger and more distinct taste of Tequila.
Slipping
back into sexist pig mode for a moment, I hypothesize that
women wanting to watch their figures and desiring a pleasant,
long evening of partying without ugly consequences would gravitate
to these Margaritas as they would certainly fit their bill.
They are pleasant and not overpowering drinks, low in calories
and low in alcohol. However being a cantankerous fat, old
alcoholic it leaves me wanting more so I am going to go fix
myself a high octane, high fat, over the top Margarita made
with full strength Tequila and more than likely make it a
double. At $13.00 - $17.00 per 750ml bottle, it's priced just
about right. Watch for deals on this product.
For
more Rants & Raves click
here.
www.skinnygirlcocktails.com
